MusingsFromBritt

Kids church was cancelled due to illness this week. We were already running a light crew for the 4th Sunday schedule, and with Christmas break, and sickness, we had no one left to volunteer. Whatever has gripped our community hit us all hard, and we are praying for everyone going through it and still on the mend.  The existing volunteers already volunteer their time, and cover the gaps again and again. They are amazing, and I am in awe of every one of them. I felt discouraged that I had to close, and one of these lovely ladies set my mind at ease and told me it sometimes happens, and allows the church family to see the need we have for more volunteers and that it would be nice for me to spend the time in service with my family. But here’s the thing nobody knows. I spent the service in my office, with my 3 year old. Because, he is the kind of 3 year old that has very very ADHD. The kind that is sweet and loving and smart, and just can’t sit still. The reason I got involved in kids church was because I KNOW what its like to have kids. Three of them. They are the absolute joy of my life, and every day I question if I am doing it all wrong. I know what its like to have kids with emotional regulation struggles, sensory overload, anxiety, ADHD, autism, and so much more that can’t be described as words on a page. I survive on a steady dose of caffeine because we all know with 3 kids you don’t ever sleep. I have read every book, taken classes, seen every kind of (speech, occupational) therapist, every counselor, sat in every IEP meeting, written every kind of teacher email, received every kind of principal phone call, dealt with bullying, judgemental strangers, people that understand, people that dont. I know what it’s like to not have enough help. To feel like you’re on an island, with too many demands for one person. And that being able to go to church, and feel like your kids are happy, safe and learning about faith, is the solace my heart depended on, Sunday after Sunday.

I was the mom that showed up soooo late to church myself, week after week after week, because I could barely get us all out of the house. You name it, I’ve seen it. All the reasons someone could be late, we have encountered it. One week we made it with 20 minutes left— and walked in and snuck in the back. I told the kids it didn’t matter. The enemy wouldn’t win. We still made it. And one week, after I settled in the youngest, he cuddled in the big armchair with his favotite volunteers, I caught a few mintures of the service on the couch and felt like crying. WHAT am I doing wrong? I thought. But, we were there. It was the once a week hour that I could cry, pray, get in the word, feel uplifted. I didn’t get involved. We came in. Sat in the back. Left. For years, on and off. I was in a place in life where I felt stuck, and then shattered. Then, one Sunday a little girl in nursery came and gave me a big hug. It was the kind of time in my life where God KNEW I needed that hug. And purpose. I kept thinking about it. And in service, Pastor said something to the effect of if you have gifts or something to offer, then not to be afraid and to go for it. I made the decision to get a volunteer application. I left it in my Bible for a month. I was terrified. Naturally incredibly shy— I love people, and kids especially, but never want to be the center of attention. I’ll be the one in the back, with a book. I didn’t know anyone in the kids ministry, and it was hard for me to make that decision. I am so glad that I did. My first week we had such a busy and chaotic time, but I didnt take it as an oh no, I took it as an how can I help and make this better. I have zero quit in me. I ended up enjoying my time and getting to know the other volunteers, and my monthly volunteer time filled my cup like I had no idea that it would. The church provided me a place to remeber my values, helpimg lay the roots I am the one responsible for providing my children, and the kind of people that I want surrounding us in life. When I am low, they lift me up. When I get grumpy, they remind me of what matters. When I need help, they offer it. And, we pray. There’s nothing like standing there talking one minute, and then bowing your head in prayer with someone who offers to pray for you. Its unlike any other kindness I have experienced.

One of my sons volunteers now, he didn’t think he would be good at it, and now he helps every week. He plays basketball with some of the boys, and has a great big brother kind of energy that I am so proud of him for. Another of my own kids sat (and still does!) On the couch in front of the fire and sips a hot cocoa instead of being in service or kids church because he feels safe and comfortable there. And after ebough consistency, he found a friend, and has joined kids church. That makes my heart so full.  And my 3 year old, he is still learning. Aren’t we all? And its okay. I don’t feel judged. Because we are a family. There’s always a hug and a smile, and a prayer waiting for you. It’s not perfect. We all struggle. We are, all, in fact– souls, having a human experience. But having good people to share it with, to remind you when you need reminding– is a blessing.

So—I see you. Please. Keep coming in. Even if you’re late. Even if you have a wiggly kiddo. Even if you miss a week. Or 10. Even if your child has a meltdown. Even if you worry they won’t sit still. Even if the enemy wants to keep you home. This war is a spiritual one, and we have to stick together. And— if it’s on your heart to get involved, if youre not a teacher, thats okay–you don’t need that kind of a background to help. Even if you have ideas where you see a need or where there’s a gap or have a concern. Even if you just want to pop in and see what we are about, ask me, I would love to give a tour of what we do in kids church, at the front desk, nursery, preschool, older kids, preteens or teen ministry— don’t be afraid of it. Its changed my life, and my kids, for the better.